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Friday, September 29th, 2006
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"I was told by a priest, once, that God hates people like me. He sure makes it seem that way, nyan. Every time I make a wish, it twists...Every time I find something good, it breaks. Is it God? Is it luck? ...Is it me? Did I do something wrong, mya?" The woman in trenchcoat glanced at the window of the confessional, hoping that maybe, just maybe, it would speed up the reply.
Slowly, the man on the other side spoke. "God hates none; as wicked as a man or woman may be, he only feels remorse that they have been led so astray."
"So...it's God, then?"
"You could blame God if you wanted, child, but it would solve nothing. Tell me of your sins, and you will be forgiven." Already, the young priest thought this woman seemed...dubious, at best.
"...I tried that once. It just got me shot." The woman in question sighed heavily. She had no idea why she kept trying this, but maybe, just maybe, it'd help. Eventually.
"If that's true, then the man you confessed to is far worse in the eyes of God than you."
"No...I don't think so, mya. ...I really don't think so."
"God thinks so."
"It's pretty heretical to say what God thinks, mya."
The priest chuckled a little. "Maybe. How about 'I think God thinks so'?"
"That's better. ...So do you want me to confess all of my sins? ...N...nyaa. I don't think I can."
"You cannot expect full pardon if you only confess a few of your sins. But God will forgive you for the ones you do confess."
"I can't expect full pardon anyway, myo. It's...part of who I am. Not even the devil would give me a pardon."
"That is...a bold thing to say," said the priest, light concern in his voice.
"...I let a close friend go astray, nya. I admit, I used to want it, but...but now it's escalated and it's happened and I'm scared, nyan! What if I lose him? I pushed him this way. And...I might....I might have to break a promise, too. I told him I'd stay by him, but...I'm scared, nya! I'm really scared! What if he just uses me and throws me away...? That's what he's done to everyone else..."
"You are forgiven, my daughter, for encouraging and allowing sin. Let your soul cast off your guilt. Remember also, sins committed against you are not your own."
"I never heard that before. Can I see your PhD?" God never cared about that before, she thought.
"Your mistrust is forgiven as well, my daughter. Is there anything else you would like to confess?"
"...I hate God, mya."
"Ex...excuse me?" He knew he shouldn't have been as surprised as he was. Clearly, this was her first time in confession...he would have been surprised if she were even Catholic.
"I hate God. He makes everything hard. He makes everything hard and he goes out of his way to hurt me." As hard as she tried, Nekomata couldn't fight back her tears.
Damage control, damage control... "It...it is alright, my daughter. God tests everyone-"
"Nyo! I don't believe that! He tests some people a lot more than others! He hates them! He hates us..." Jun Kuroda came to mind once again. He had it even worse than she did...even in a self-centered mood like this, she could tell that much. A lot of her wished that she had to suffer through it instead of him...She promised him she'd protect him, and she let this happen...
"God doesn't hate, my-"
"SHUT UP! SHUT THE FUCK UP! That's bullshit and you know it, nya! How much have YOU been tested!? Did YOU have to live through hell twice? Did YOU have to watch one of your best friends die!? Did you!? Have you dealt with the pain of being forgotten by everyone!?"
"Well, I'm sure God-"
"I SAID SHUT UP! MYAAA! I'M SICK OF HEARING YOU SPOUT ABOUT GOD! GOD DOESN'T CARE! IF GOD CARED...If...If God cared...Jun Kuroda would be alright...and...and there wouldn't be a White Joker, nyaa..." OhcrapNedon'ttenseupyouknowwhatthatdoes...! A frantic thought came a moment too late, and Nekomata began to choke and cough.
After a few minutes of awkward listening to the hacking sounds next door, the priest spoke up.
"Child... God is not the direction you should focus your rage in. He means well, and it is not our place to doubt His plan. Instead, try and change your friend. See if you can help lead him back toward the Light."
Cough, hack...
"...Are you alright, my daughter?" He looked through the small slat through which confessions were made and gasped. The woman in question was...feline, if nothing else. Certainly not a human. Nearest he could guess, she was one of the demons that were roaming the streets.
"Demon!!" he cried. "You are not wanted in this holy place!" The priest burst out of the confessional and went straight for a crucifix and holy water. Nekomata got the point and stumbled out of the booth, leaving the hat she used to hide her ears, and hurried for the church doors, still hacking and coughing - this stress was NOT helping the situation. She felt cool water getting splashed onto her trenchcoat, and let out a strained yowl. When it was followed up by a light hit with a small blunt object, she wanted to scream 'Why are you doing this to me, mya?', but she could barely breathe, let alone scream.
"Begone! Go back to Hell, filthy demon!!" It seemed as though the holy water and crucifix were having an effect - the demon seemed uncomfortable, at least, and it was hastening toward the door. Satisfied, the priest got to work on re-consecrating the church - if that demon could get in so easily, who knows what else could?
Nekomata burst outside, still hacking and coughing. She hurried around the corner to somewhere as discreet as possible, where she hacked and gagged until finally she coughed up a hairball. Stress always did that to her. Not long after, she simply curled up in a little ball nearby and began to cry again. Now she was wet, and her throat kind of hurt.
And even though she tried, God hated her more than ever.
(I forgot to put this before: Open to anyone.)
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Comments: Read 14 or Add Your Own.
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 | You scored as 0 - The Fool. The Fool is the most complex and most contradictory of all the Tarot cards.
"I am not a number, I am a free man".
The Fool represents naivety and childlike innocence - yet the Fool is wise.
He carries only what possessions he really needs He journeys through life, tasting everything it has to offer then letting it go and moving on.
The Fool is a risk taker, often shown with one foot over a cliff showing us every new beginning has a risk. Whether the Fool represents opportunity or danger one thing is clear: this world needs more fools.
0 - The Fool | | 94% | VIII - Strength | | 88% | XIII: Death | | 81% | IV - The Emperor | | 75% | XIX: The Sun | | 75% | III - The Empress | | 75% | II - The High Priestess | | 69% | I - Magician | | 69% | VI: The Lovers | | 69% | XVI: The Tower | | 69% | XV: The Devil | | 69% | X - Wheel of Fortune | | 44% | XI: Justice | | 19% | </td>
Which Major Arcana Tarot Card Are You?
created with QuizFarm.com |
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Comments: Add Your Own.
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Sunday, September 10th, 2006
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After a long hiatus, Nekomata's back, nya! I'll make sure to keep everyone informed on the latest.
Or not, nya. I work on my own time.
(Mun is finally settled in-ish at college. Goodbye, bumfuck, hello, California!)
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Comments: Read 3 or Add Your Own.
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Wednesday, May 31st, 2006
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A lot has happened since I came to the portaly-place, nya. I guess I should recap before I go on another grand quest...
When I first came, I tried to open a little rumor stand, but my sound system got trashed by a giant evil baby. I made a friend, though, and I got lots of food and a good amount of money...
I went to Katsuya's later on, and I started staying in his apartment bathroom, in the dryer. It was lots of fun. He let me wear some of his clothes! I keep them really carefully washed, nyo, but I have to do it really early so nobody sees me. There's his sunglasses, and his jacket, and his tie...
Oh! And I met Joker-sama! THEEEEE Joker-sama! We're really good friends, and he gave me a flower, nya! And later, a book on learning what flowers mean, so I can know some of the same things he does!
He says his name is Jun Kurosu...or is it Kuroda? Nyaaa. This is why Joker-sama is easier. He gets depressed a lot....I try to help.
Mostly, it's Tatsuya Suou's fault. He makes everything worse, ever. He makes Katsuya-chan's life worse, and he makes Jun Joker-sama's life worse, too! I talked with a weird guy, and he said I should just kill him if he just makes it so bad, nyooo! So I am!
I'm gonna bathe in your blood, Tatsuya Suou!! Bathe in it, nyaaaaaa!!
I found a neat little place called the Pagoda Club...it's run by another kitty, nyan. Named 'Mao'. I don't know any 'Mao's, but I bet she's nice. I think I saw her once or twice...
That's the bare bones, mya! I hope I can set up in the Pagoda Club bathroom...maybe I can even get paid for it, nyaaan~!!
Until next time, kids! Don't drink and drive, myo~!
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Comments: Read 8 or Add Your Own.
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Tuesday, January 24th, 2006
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I'm finally set up. I'm gonna go get my statue and set it up at the Nexus...Wish me luck, self! Good luck, nyo!
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Comments: Add Your Own.
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rumormongernya's journal
nervous.